Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
