im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
