My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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