did you get engaged???
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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