i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize