Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
