That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
