pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
