nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
