yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
