I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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