I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
