going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
