im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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