he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My ass is underappreciated
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
