I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
