you turned your livingroom into a bong?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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