I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
