I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize