WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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