when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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