so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
