i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize