where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
