I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
