i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
