don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
