Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
two words: eviction party
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
