I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
