Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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