fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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