You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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