No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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