There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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