She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think I am morally bankrupt
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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