My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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