im drinking this country out of the recession.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
