Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
