I bet he comes in French.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
