Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
