try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
