I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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