According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
