Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize