would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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