Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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