in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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