Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
