So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
