Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
