i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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