He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You are a genius and a whore.
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