i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
