It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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