Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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