I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
