people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize