theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Actions speak louder than pants.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize