he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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