i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
